Because We're Friends
by Dwimmer-Crafty
Summary: Based on of blainespenis' gifs on Tumblr, Kurt comes to Santana in his time of need to beg her to help him scare off a certain Warbler. "He's putting the moves on Blaine, and ... I can't lose him, I just can't." "Then you've come to the right person."


As he walked through the halls of McKinley, Kurt spotted the girl he was looking for. Kurt made his way over to the Latino girl, who suddenly peered over her shoulder to see him coming towards her. She turned back towards her locker, trying to look preoccupied.

He stood a few feet away from her, and as he opened his mouth to speak she started to talk.

"What do you want, baby gay?"

Kurt eyed her, thinking that maybe this was a bad idea after all, but knowing Santana, she just might help if she knows whats happening. But the words start tumbling out of his mouth before he could stop them.

**"I need you to do me a favor."**

"Oh, not even a hello I see," she retorted as she continued to grab her Spanish book for Schue's mediocre class. What did Kurt ever do for her? As far as she was concerned, she owed him nothing.

"Santana, I know we've never been the closest of friends, but I really could use your help wi** – " "And what makes you think I'd do it?**" she asked, interrupting him. Kurt gripped his bag a bit tighter and realized she was making this way harder than it had to be. And then it came to him.

"Because we play on the same team. And I like to think that you and I are friends," he told her, hoping that she would at least give him some sympathy.

She finally turned to look at him, taking in that despite their many differences, Kurt had never been one to bring her down at her lowest. If it was anyone, it would be Finn. Santana didn't know how to reply without snapping out an insult.

**"Yeah, well ..."**

He moved closer to her, "I know this is all been confusing to you these past few weeks, and I know you weren't exactly thrilled with Blaine and I's performance of Pink," which they both chuckled at, "and while it was extremely hilarious, you know we both support you–" "Get to the point, Hummel."

"Well I'm betting you heard about the new Warbler from Brit? I need you to err ... threaten him, but only a little bit though," he finished as her face contorted into suspicion.

"Why?" She was confused, as far as she was concerned, despite that she loves Brittney, new Warbler was kind of hot.

"He's putting the moves on Blaine, and ... I can't lose him, I just can't."

Kurt eye's were filled miserable. She could tell that he had been thinking a quite good amount on what to do about him. Kurt wasn't jealous, she would have seen it, he was worried about Blaine, because was well ... oblivious ... alot. 

"Then you've come to the right person," Santana said as she locked arms with him, shutting her locker to walk down the hallway, "but first we need a plan."

Both Santana and Kurt were inside Kurt's navigator as they went over the final details of their mischievous plan.

"... and he'll probably try to come back with something snarky, or maybe even try to come onto you, I'm not really sure...," Kurt trailed off with a shudder.

"He sounds like a–" "A pigslut?" Kurt supplied. They both looked at each other and started cackling. A few moments later, after their laughter finally died down, the plan was being put into action.

Kurt had taken Blaine's phone (with his permission of course), and texted said pigslut, that Blaine would just _love_ to get coffee again, and of course, the Warbler agreed almost immediately. Instead of Blaine showing up to meet up with pigslut (Kurt refuses to use the boy's name), it would be Santana and boy, was pigslut in for a surprise.

Santana strode into the Lima Bean, her bitch face flaming, and her eyes searching for, according to Kurt, "the stupid tall, arrogant, son of a bitch in a Warbler uniform and screams douche bag."

She found him within seconds.

At first Sebastian seemed intrigued, and lifted an eyebrow, as to why a girl had just sat in front of him, thinking it was his lucky day, but he was soon to be proved wrong.

**"I need you leave Gay and Gayer alone,"** she said slowly, hoping that the Warbler would gain the concept quickly.

"Um, who?"

"Leave my boy Blaine, he's perfectly content sucking Hummel's dick," she said with a smug smile. Sebastian heard Blaine's name and nothing else and then went on to continue pestering the girl in front of him.

**"I don't know what you're talking about? Who are yo–Where's Blaine?"**

Santana couldn't help but laugh at the boy, Kurt was right. He really didn't listen. This was going to be harder than she originally planned. But she had promised Kurt and she was not going to just walk out and leave this for her friends to deal with later.

"**He's not here," **_obviously, _she thought,** "and I am telling you to leave Kurt and Blaine alone."** Sebastian's lips quirked up and he breathed out a laugh, **"Well, that's a nice thought, but I don't see how it's any of your business." **

_Oh is that how you wanna play Warbler, bring it._

"Here's the deal , I like Kurt and Blaine, they make my dentist bills go through the roof with the sickening sweetness and we're close friends. I'm trying to be nice here," she stated seemed to look unbothered with her statement and kept looking around the coffee shop, hoping to see Blaine striding in with really _really nice_–

"**I'm **_**making**_** it my business,"** she spatted out,_ well that seem to gain his short attention span,_ **"You do not wanna mess with me, pigslut. I'm from the part of town called Lima Heights Adjacent." **He snorted at her tatic to try and scare him. So she continued.

"Don't you get it prep boy? I can whoop your ass in under two seconds because I'm just that awesome," she said knowingly. Santana looked out of the corner of her eye to see Kurt standing in line for the cash register. She then turned her attention back to Sebastian.

"**Look, I don't know what you're talking about, so–,"** "Then let me make it very simple for you," Satana said interrupting him again, and snickered a bit to herself at his appalled face. She then spoke as if she was talking to a small child, **"Keep bothering the two Pretty Ponies, and you'll know what I'm talking about."**

Sebastian got a weird look in his eye and nodded his head like she knew what she was insisting on. He then got up, "Well, I'd hate to go, but it was uh, nice meeting you … I didn't catch your name?" He shot her a flirty smile, _man, you've got to be kidding me._

"Sorry, you're out of luck, I'm team Brit all the way," she said and Sebastian, once again, raised an eyebrow. "Meaning I love my girlfriend so fuck off slutpig." And with that, Sebastian made his way out of the Lima Bean. Not even two seconds after he was out the door, did Kurt come in, hurrying over to where Santana was seated.

"So I take it by him muttering 'damn lesbians' that you told him off?" Kurt questioned her, which she just nodded her head as she took a sip from her frappe.

"Satan, you are a god," as the 'clinked' their coffee cups together.


End file.
